The transformative benefits of reality,

Saying YES to life as it is,

“When did the future switch from being a promise

to being a threat ?”

Chuck Palahniuk, ‘Invisible Monsters

Dear Courageous,

Its been a tough week, I have struggled to know what to say, think or do. There is so much speculation and commentary, from we are all doomed to we are all saved.

My instincts have been to draw back , head inwards when possible, in the face of such unknown. Yet I know past times of grief and disappointment in the realities of life have initiated my biggest transformations.

This is such a time and though its tempting to hide away, we must find the courage to embrace the uncertainty. To turn the adversity and challenges into growth for our evolution.

It's not just the Trump win that saddens me and the consequences . It is a Jack Self writes…

“We are living through the most dangerous phase of modernity , where those in power will do anything they can to preserve an increasingly fragile Status Quo.”

What My Beech tree is teaching me,

As I looked out my window I see the gold beech leaves gently dropping and the hills covered in golden bracken.

Gazing on the various Autumn colours , intensified by the sunshine, I thought what if this is a golden time ?

A precious liminal space, a pause to re group and reassess ?

How could I make best use of this golden time ?

The Challenges,

Fear , speculating or despondence won’t benefit anyone.

The challenge for us now, isn’t to outpace stress, adversity and momentous changes , it's to meet them honestly and courageously.

It is to learn how to navigate uncertainty not as a passing state, but as a condition of life.

Protecting Your Nervous System,

This week I listened to someone I respect on Substack talking about protecting her nervous system. Her answer is to avoid all news and politics by only reading cookery and travel articles.

I respect her choice, because we are all deciding what our nervous systems, bodies and souls can withstand.

Her choice does not build capacity, or resources , there will be no expansion or growth of the human spirit that comes from adversity.

What if we took the belief as Jim Carey does that life happens for us not to us ?

Then this adversity is here for our evolution, growth and increasing resilience.

The world is asking a lot of us right now and its not going to get any easier. We need to be increasing our understanding of where we are, not looking away or hiding.

We need to study our reality without the rose tinted glasses of .....it will be better next time or that promises will be kept .

To observe our beautiful and broken world. Gathering enough information to make our moves with precise and clear intention. Only then will we know what to do and there is much to do ; especially taking extra care of ourselves.

Tempting though it might be, this is not a time for procrastination . Seeing reality truthfully gives us more options and opportunities for making wise choices.

Rebecca Sonit writes

“To be passive in the face of adversity is to hinder positive change”…she goes on to write:-

“To be hopeful, means to be uncertain about the future, to be tender toward possibilities, to be dedicated to change all the way down to the bottom of your heart.”

I have problems with the word hopeful, but I do believe in possibilities and choice. .

Transformative Resilience

The difference between those who fold and those who flourish is not resilience in the traditional sense of the word. It is not bouncing back from events , it is a transformative resilience.

The willingness to learn, grow and create. To become more robust , embodied and coherent for our own sanity and evolution.

Ama and Stephanie Marston in the their book Type R, list these six characteristics and skills that allow for transformative resilience.

Adaptability,

Healthy Relationship to control,

Continual learning,

Sense of purpose,

Leveraging support,

Active engagement,

These qualities reinforce and interact with one another, as well as having merit on their own. They apply not only to individuals, but also to leaders, organisations and families. All can be learnt, developed and strengthened, with intention.

You can change the frame of how you picture reality from threat to finding the transformative goal or to really push it …the opportunity.

“You can't argue with reality, reality always win's”. Katie Byron

The tree’s in my view are using their golden time . They are letting go of their summer and retreating into rest and renewal. Using their dormancy to build strength and vigour for what they need to do next to keep alive and vital.

We can take guidance from the trees for our own rest, reflection and renewal. To honour our preciousness by finding protection against the ravages of inclement weather.

We can choose to see current events only as a threat and hide away or as an opportunity for transformation. Sounds such a cliche, but it's a true linch pin of survival and our ability to thrive.

Intentional transformation guarantee’s we are contributing to a bigger wholistic transformation . As what happens in the one, happens in the whole. You are not alone, millions of others in the world are daily choosing how to make their future worth living.

"actions undertaken with pure intent have repercussions throughout the web of life, beyond what you can measure or discern." Joanna Macy

Making the most of this golden time and adversity is courageous. It will stretch you way beyond your comfort zone…but we are leaving that shore for ever now and heading into the unknown.

Set your "sail" and intention on how you want to navigate and evolve in these choppy waters....(and that’s enough of the boat metaphor, but it just seemed so right.)

Try

"Aspiring to see the world as it is and still love it."

Oscar Wilde

Thank you for reading and for every contribution you are making to add kindness, beauty and joy. Your light is the antidote to the darkness that is present in our world.

This is a great TED talk on Grit, The Power of Passion & Perseverance by Angela Duckworth especially for my friend

Paulette Bodeman

and with thanks to

Margaret Anna Alice

for bring it to me.

With Love,

Susan